Greetings and Salutations,
While I am aware of the formalities expected towards this prestigious
council, I will be keeping this in plain common for those within the council
walls that may in fact be more brawn than anything else. Your demands on the
scientific community have been oppressive at best, of late.
This is being brought to your attention, not because of the
new chairperson overseeing the development of weaponry and the like, due to the
fact that, suddenly, three of my minions have turned up dead. Now, I would like
to blame the forces of good, and chalk it up to an unfortunate casualty of the business
but the evidence otherwise is a bit too overwhelming to point fingers
elsewhere. Ms. Raven’s instruments of death have been well categorized by
myself and my colleagues, noting the specifics of the poisons she uses in an
effort to make them look natural within most the human species. These same poisons
were found within one of my minion’s circulatory system. I’ve done some preliminary
investigating on my own, suspicions being followed before revenge was approved
by the council. In a in-person follow-up, I’ll present all of the findings.
For now, however, I’d like to place my name in for the
replacement of the talented Crimson Raven, our current chairperson. Below is a
copy of my resume, including all the of the contraptions and gadgets that I’ve
supplied over my 15 year stint with the council, including some freelance work.
The highlights however, include my current project, a dragon automaton, with
fire ‘breath’ that can shoot , on a full fuel tank, up to 100 feet of flame,
and can perform tasks up to the cognitive level of that of a young child,
through some dynamic programming and a little ingenuity. This stunning piece of
work is one of a kind and currently going through our patent office. The
client, who generously provided the materials and funds; chooses to remain
nameless has provided thorough documentation on his/her alignment.
Oh, this all seems suspicious, you say? Too many things
starting to point the bony finger my way? Adorable, that your childish minds
cannot comprehend someone who takes the initiative to submit a report, perform
an autopsy, and recommend oneself for the soon to be vacant position. Though
you would be right to investigate, those that are veterans to the Council will
vouch for my abilities in that given arena. I don’t kill. My creations do.
Poisons are for people who want to watch the slow decline of a victim. I prefer
a hands off approach. Something more… inventive. Less old-lady-killer-esque.
I look forward to your quick reply. I’ll have my lasers
aimed towards the sky. Do be so kind to try to sneak up this time. The minions
need the target practice.
Gracious Send Off,
Erik A. Mathhers
Mad Scientist Extraordinaire
Tinkerer, Inventor, et al.
Tinkerer, Inventor, et al.
1 comment:
This was fun. I'll be back for more.
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